S​/​T Tape

by Yusuke

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Friendly Otter Records released this in the USA
Sad Records released this in Russia


released June 3, 2013

Recorded and mixed by S. Decker at Yoguwit Studios, Artwork and design by Kyle Rotta



all rights reserved


Yusuke Illinois


Tyler is really into Resurrectionists.
Tony is really into Honeywell.
Ryan is really into Louise Cyphre.
Matt is really into Dead in the Dirt.

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Track Name: Restraints of An Everyday Man
My mind crumbles to pieces.

What little sanity I have falls with the tears that come from these bleak eyes. Face in hands. Way too familiar of a position.

The constant feeling of anguish in the back of my throat. This shaken soul craves an embrace that it’s own hand can’t reach!

But who am I kidding? This heart will never know a home and this body will hold on to nothing but painful memories.

What’s a life without purpose and what’s purpose without a life? The meaning I found just from holding your hand made life worth it.

But now my hands are empty and have nothing to show but a broken heart and a hollow shell of the person I use to be. Living life on repeat.

Awake. Suffer. Sleep

Imprisoned by the shackles of my own despair. If this is what life is then catch me in the obituaries.
Track Name: Reflections of a Life Once Had
The man in the mirror is on his last breath. Closing my eyes just to see you. I thought you kicked me out of your life. So why do I see you every waking moment?

Feel you with every beat of my heart . My chest is caving in and my eyes don’t get any less glossy. My mind is cluttered with images of you and I.

Oh, that night you became mine, oh, that night I became yours.

What I would give to have my fucking life back? I’m waiting here for you but you’re not coming back. You’re not coming back.

I see you in his arms, I see him in your eyes.

There’s nothing left in me. I’m not alive, I’m merely walking the earth. You cannot kill what is already erased from the planet, but perhaps you can resurrect which once was.

Give me my fucking life back, give me that look back in your eyes, give me the power to loosen this rope.

Oh, that night I lost you, oh, that night I lost myself.

I just want to know what it’s like to feel warm again.
Track Name: Echoes
Making me pay for actions I didn’t commit. Maybe that’s what I deserve? I guess being born made me responsible. Sorry, I never asked for this life and to be honest I would gladly give it back.

The vacant space inside of me plagues the inner workings of my mind. You truly learn the difference between living and existing when the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness glooms over you from day till night until you forget what light and dark are.

The lines get blurred when everything becomes meaningless.
What happened to my so called life? Is it over or is this just the beginning? I never meant to make you hate me. I never meant to ruin your life.

But if it’s any consolation, I hate me and my life is ruined too.
Track Name: So This is What it Feels Like to be Invisible
We could spend everyday together. Your hand on my heart and my arms wrapped around your soul.

If only dreams came true. I would never stop playing with your hair and you would never stop running your hands up and down me. You took the breath from lungs and replaced it with a meaning.

I am now destined to want more than I could ever have. These tears go out to you and these clenched fist go out to him. He’s truly in paradise and he doesn't even know it. How the greatest of treasures can be wasted on such foolish people.

Your beauty is making me bitter, your smile is making me angry, your eyes are stabbing me, and you are fucking killing me.
I wish I could just get over you. But then I would be lying to myself. I would be turning away from the meaning of life.

Just please promise me, she’s everything to you. Tell me that you treat her right, tell me that you two sleep well at night, tell me that you two love each, tell me that you live the life I wish I had. Maybe, if she’s happy then maybe I can die happy?

Why can’t I be him, why can’t I be him, why can’t I be him, and why the fuck do I have to be me?